Forgiveness...dissolving the link...

Forgiveness... what's that mean to you? Are you the type that believes "forgiving is forgetting"?  or do you think forgiveness is unattainable? Or maybe you have the attitude that you will forgive that person, but you will never forget...?


“When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.” Catherine Ponder


I believe there is a lot of truth in Catherine's quote. The whole dissoving the link...

Something to think about... how much is "too much" to forgive? Is there a limit on how much we are to forgive or are capable of forgiving?... according to God the answer is No. We are to forgive everyone everything or He won't forgive us our sins.
In real life that is so very much easier said then done. I mean seriously, you can forgive people's rudeness to you, you can forgive all those types of  'small sins', you know that don't 'really' effect you and who you are. But on the grander scale, the scale of sins that actually effect who you are as a person, those kind of sins that make an impact on who you become...because the sin puts a mark on your soul... can you forgive those?

For instance, I didn't have a grand childhood... not that everyday was horrific with abuse (but there WAS abuse) and not that there weren't good times (I recall some of those), but the abuse I suffered as a child had a HUGE impact on who I am today. Can I forgive that? Is it forgiveable? Forgettable? I believe it is forgiveable because I've already done that. So, I know that without a doubt. Will I ever forget the past? No. God gave us a memory... for better or worse... and I will always remember...but that doesn't mean I can't forgive. That doesn't mean that I live in the past and allow it to effect who I am today. I don't use it as a crutch and feel sorry for myself. I don't act as if the world owes me something because of the abuse I suffered. NO!!... It happened. Bad things happen in life. That is a fact of life.  People sin against others. You allow yourself some time to heal, and you move on.

When people choose to hold onto the sins that others have done against them, they are allowing that sin to have a continual hold on their lives. That sin then becomes who they think they are as a person. (more on that another day) They carry that sin around with them like it's their skin. Wearing it, showing it to others as if it's a trophy. The problem is... they haven't forgiven the sinner. The sin owns them...owns their life.

They are then bound by that sin and are not free to be who they were meant to be in Christ.

Forgiveness frees you.

It makes you capable of moving on past the sin, past the hurt and pain...it allows the sin to become just a memory that you can then draw upon down the road to help you have compassion for other people that you encounter that are suffering from that same sin... and then you can help that person see that even though they are suffering from pain of whatever sin it is...that they too can forgive and heal and move on with their life. And not be bound by the sin themselves. And without having your own personal memories to draw from how much harder would it be to relate and thus help othes? And you can't help others forgive their sins if you yourself have not forgiven yours. If you are not a Free person, you can't help Free others.



For the Bible says that we are to bear one anothers burdens... so learning to forgive others sins allows us to in turn help others learn to forgive sins and move on with their lives free from the bondage that unforgiveness has. It's has the potential to be an awesome domino effect.

Could you forgive someone for  verbal abuse?...physical abuse?... sexual abuse?... being molested or raped?... could you forgive someone for murder of a loved one?... Now those are some deep wounds! Deep sins against you that most people would say... I understand that you could never forgive that (whatever one of those it is). I personally have suffered all but the murder of those sins against me. Yes, I have had them all... (that's for another time to discuss). Yes, I have forgiven all those that did those sins against me. I had to... because it then freed me from the sin. Those sins no longer have a hold on my soul. They can't have a hold when you forgive those people.... it sets you free!

Reading the book 'The Shack' last summer really opened me eyes to just how powerful God's spirit is and just how serious He is in telling us that no matter what the sin is... we are called to forgive those that sin against us. If you haven't read the book, you don't know what I'm referring to and I would urge you to read the book! It is one of the most powerful messages!
In the story there is a scene in a cave where God tells the father that he has to forgive the man that murdered his daughter... (I don't want to give it away), it's a very powerful scene. Read the book.


The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”  Mahatma Gandhi

I believe this to be true. You have to be strong in who you are in Christ. You have to know that you are a child of the Abba Father in heaven that made you in his form with all of your strengths and weakness to be just who you are and that no matter what... He loves you. He loved you before you were born simply because you are His child.  Similar to how a mother loves her child the moment she finds out she's pregnant. It doesn't matter if that child will be a boy or a girl with what color hair, or who it will look like, that love is there immediately simply because it will be her child. But the Bible says God loves His children more than we can even comprehend... so how cool is that?! I'm a mother. I've got four children...I know what that feeling is like to love a child before they are even born. And to stop in awe at the thought that I am loved by my heavenly Father more than I love my children is hard for my brain to understand. But then... God is tamquam ignotum, utterly unknowable. Our brains are just not smart enough to be able to compare.


Sincere forgiveness isn't colored with expectations that the other person apologize or change. Don't worry whether or not they finally understand you. Love them and release them. Life feeds back truth to people in its own way and time.” Sara Paddison


Sara is a wise woman. I have forgiven people that have sinned against me, some I have verbally expressed this to them, others died before I could tell them. But that's okay. I didn't forgive them in order for them to apologize to me. That's not having the right heart in forgiving. You can't expect an apology from those that sin against you. You can't expect that that person will change who they are or that they will even be sorry or remorseful... you simply have to forgive and move on.


“You will know that forgiveness has begun when you recall those who hurt you and feel the power to wish them well.” Lewis B. Smedes

Lewis is wise as well... when you can have the heart for those that have sinned against you and despite the pain they cause you, truly wish them well on their journey of life...then you know in your heart that you have forgiven them and have God's love for them. And how very freeing that is to have!!



“He who is devoid of the power to forgive, is devoid of the power to love.” Martin Luther King, Jr

People that can't forgive others of the sins...don't love themselves. You have to love yourself before you can love others. Without self love, you are incapable of loving others. Thus you can't forgive others. If that is you... I pray that you will read the book "Abba's Child" and "Ragamuffin Gospel" by Brennan Manning. And I pray that you would release the sins of others against you, so that you can be free to be who God made you to be! Trust me... you have no idea who you truly are until you have learned to let go of the sin!



“Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.”  Paul Boese

Forgiveness is a choice. You have to choose to forgive others, no matter how big or small the sin. Because by not forgiving... you aren't fully living in the truth of who you are and were meant to be. You allow that sin to own you. To keep you hostage in your own body.

Choose to be a forgiving soul... so that you can be FREE to be the REAL you!