Forgiving... forgetting...

“Forgiving does not erase the bitter past. A healed memory is not a deleted memory. Instead, forgiving what we cannot forget creates a new way to remember. We change the memory of our past into a hope for our future.” Lewis B. Smedes 

*** with the end of the year, may you find a way to forgive those from your past so that both of you can make for a great new year!

Matthew 6:14 “For if you forgive others ²⁰  their sins, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 6:15 But if you do not forgive others, your Father will not forgive you your sins.

That verse is pretty powerful if you think about it. If you don't forgive others their sins against you... God will not forgive you your sins. Ouch! How then, is it that so many people do NOT forgive others? How is it that they can justify their behavior to themselves, others and God for NOT forgiving others?... makes me wonder..

There are 184 verses in the Bible about forgiving... read them sometime... I have.

Forgiving is a choice. I choose to forgive everyone that has ever wronged me, big or little. I chose not to be angry, hurt or bitter about any of the situations. Unforgiveness takes up too much energy... it's too negative for my spirit. I'm a positive soul... I choose to forgive and move on to happier days.

If you have ever wronged me... please know that you are forgiven. If I have ever wronged you, I pray that you would forgive me.
I believe that anyone can make the change to be a better person if they choose to do so.
I pray that you would desire to be constantly growing and changing in your walk with God and your walk of life.

Chapters closing...

Today is New Years Eve... the last day of 2009. It's not just the last day of a month and year but of a decade.
It's the closing of chapters..



A moment last all of a second, but the memory lives on forever.


Everything you live through helps to make you the person you are now.


The end of the year always brings people to reflect on the past years experiences... good and bad... a sigh of relief that a new year and the chance for a new beginning is upon us and hope that the new year will bring better experiences, happier days, more prosperous times. Better health for those that suffered in the last year.
Better jobs or just to have a job for those unemployed. It's actually amazing to me that there is so much pressure put on January 1. People expect good changes to happen overnight. They act as if they will go to sleep after ringing in the new year and their lives will be suddenly different. The month of January is typically the month of New Years Resolutions attempt to happen. And when people realize that change in their lives is NOT overnight, that it's going to take WORK to make positive changes in their lives on a DAILY basis... diets, working out, giving up smoking, or drinking... they all take time. They all require a daily attempt to do it right. And once you take the first step and get one day down, then you have to wake up the next day as if it were "New Years Day" all over again and get it right that day too. And wake up the next day with the same thought... it's only after you have made the change on a daily basis over a period of time that you will see any real change in your life. Because change is a process...
Sometimes change takes days, months but sometimes change takes years... the waiting and the conscious effort that you must put into the changes eventually pays off to achieve the original goal that drove you to want the change to begin with. When you reach the point of being at the peak of the mountain that you have just been climbing... that's the time for celebration! The point of being able to say that all that hard work paid off and you have successfully changed your life!

If God sends us on strong paths, we are provided strong shoes.” Corrie TenBoom


I've been on the journey to change my life with God's prodding for he has plans for my life for a few years now. I've been at a crossroads of wondering what direction I'm supposed to take. It's interesting to me that where I am in my life right now and how it meets up so perfectly with the end of the year and the end of a decade... a totally fresh year and decade to be written! My prayer is God's will for my life be made the desire of my heart.

Only Hope lyrics by Switchfoot

There's a song that's inside of my soul
It's the one that I've tried to write over and over again
I'm awake in the infinite cold
But You sing to me over and over again

So I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands
and pray to be only Yours
I pray to be only Yours
I know now you're my only hope

Sing to me the song of the stars
Of Your galaxy dancing and laughing
and laughing again
When it feels like my dreams are so far
Sing to me of the plans that You have for me over again

And I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands and pray
To be only yours
I pray to be only yours
I know now you're my only hope

I give You my apathy
I'm giving You all of me
I want Your symphony
Singing in all that I am
At the top of my lungs I'm giving it back

The beginning of the new year/ new decade is also the beginning of my journey that God is putting me on... how VERY exciting!! I truly can not wait to see what unfolds in my life in the coming years! I'm leaving my past life behind me... I've had some wonderful happy days that I will cherish forever and I have had some horribly sad devastating days that I would have preferred to have never had to live through! 

But what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger... my heart and soul are so much stronger now... I'm also able to give so many more people compassion for their dark days because I personally have gone through my own. 

A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step. -Lao Tzu

I've got my hiking shoes on... I'm ready to start my new walk!... Life is an adventure and I'm blessed to have a God that loves me so much that he has a wonderful plan for my life! 

Thought for the day: Perspective

“Memory is a way of holding on to the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose.” Kevin Arnold



Have you ever thought about your memories from the past? Have you ever questioned if the way you remember something happening if that is truly how it happened? The mind has a way of playing 'tricks' on you sometimes... but more likely the way you remember something happening is directly related to your past experiences and how they have molded you to who you are. Everybodies life experiences are different because personalities are different and so people respond differently to the same incident. I recently watched an episode of Grey's Anatomy where they showed a patient coming into the ER and then he died. They showed how ten doctors were there, but all ten doctors had different stories as to what happened to that patient. It makes you realize that people can be in the same exact situation but it impacts you differently. You see it differentlybecause you are more sensitive to certain issues and not so aware of some.
With that in mind... when you think about your life, your life issues, other people in your life and their issues...  do you stop and think that the way you initially think and respond to the issue is the only point of view? Or are you all too aware that there are many ways to look at a situation and try to think outside your personal box?
I try to think outside myself... knowing that some issues can be skewed by my personal viewpoints based on my personal experiences.
When thinking about my future it's the same way. I know that what I am thinking may not be real clear because of my perspective.
Everyone has a different perspective... we should respect each others perspective no matter how skewed they are from reality. Some people's perspective is so skewed from the truth that all you can do for them is pray. Pray that God would open their eyes of their hearts to see clearly.
I pray Ephesians 1:18. I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened, so that you will know what is the hope of His calling what are the riches of the glory of his inheritance in the saints.
Pray that God would reveal the truth to them, because living in denial of reality is not growing in maturity.

If we're growing, we're always going to be out of our comfort zone.”  John Maxwell

I pray that God keeps me uncomfortable with what He would have me doing in my life, so that I am growing in Him and maturing. I pray that God would open the eyes of my heart and reveal His plans for me, reveal the truth to me. Because living in denial of truth isn't maturing in God.

Thought for the day: Happiness...

Thought for the day:

There can be no happiness if the things we believe in are different from the things we do. ~Freya Stark, The Journey's Echo ----


When I read that statement it makes me think about my past... the decisions I have made and how they didn't match up to what I knew made me happy or would make me happy. They were decisions based on other people's happiness. I was living my life to make others happy... and I put my happiness aside. I wasted a lot of years doing that and will never do that again. The only person besides myself that I will care about what they think about my decisions in life is God. And with my focus being on doing God's will for my life... I think I finally have it figured out!
Now don't get me wrong, I'm always happy and always positive! So, it's not like I was miserable in life at all.
I CAN be happy doing most anything... not real picky. For I have a grateful heart and appreciate the small things in life  (sunrise, sunsets, pictures of nature, hot water showers, the joy of my children, hot tea in the morning, chatting with friends, flowers and candles aroma, to name a few) that a lot of people take for granted. I try to always live my life as if it's my last days. Because you never know when it will be your last days. The people close to me, know how I feel about them. I tell them. I won't have a death bed wish of wishing I had told them... because I do now while I'm alive.
Happiness is not something that someone can do for you or to you... happiness is found within yourself.  Happiness is a choice. No matter what your situation is in your life, and they are constantly, you yourself have to choose to be happy. Everyday, no matter what... it's a choice.
It's easier to be happy if you have a grateful heart. Because with a grateful heart you can focus on the basics of what truly matters in life (bed to sleep in, warmth or cool, food to eat, clothes to wear, tooth brush and tooth paste,  family, friends)... all the rest... is just life that happens. That being said, there are some people withOUT some of those basics... that are very happy people, because... they have and believe in God. If you have God in your life... how can you NOT be happy? seriously? He and he alone should be enough to make us all happy! God sending his son to die for us! To save us from Hell!... HOW can you NOT be happy with that news?! Too many people lose sight of that fact. They take that huge display of God's love for us for granted. They don't appreciate it. They feel like it's owed them. Which is sad...
Happiness is from the soul... happiness of soul...

In my past I was with people that were not happy people. No matter what I tried,... I couldn't make them happy. Took me awhile to realize that I was not responsible for their happiness... they are. Being around those type people... brings me down. They rob people around them of their happiness. Some of them even think that it IS the responsibility of others to make them happy and when you aren't making them happy with their unhappy selves the blame you. I don't miss those days. Not being around people like that... is like a weight lifted off my shoulders. I no longer have to try to make them understand that happiness is found within themselves. (people that think like that... don't take kindly to suggestions either - my personal experience)...

So, for the year 2010... I WILL be true to myself... my happiness... my God and all the decisions I make... everything I believe in WILL be what I do.

Discipline... what does that mean to you?

Discipline... can be a noun or a verb...  can be thought of as punishment or as a way of life.

verb (used with object) 10. to train by instruction and exercise; drill.
11. to bring to a state of order and obedience by training and control.
12. to punish or penalize in order to train and control; correct; chastise.

noun
5. behavior in accord with rules of conduct; behavior and order maintained by training and control: good discipline in an army.
6. a set or system of rules and regulations.



I view discipline as a needed system to bring to a state of order... without discipline, you wouldn't be able to hold down a job because you wouldn't have a bed time ot make yourself wake up at a specific time. People that are out of shape, for the most part, because of lack of discipline... they don't want to exercise or eat what they know they should eat... because lots of people don't practice discipline in those areas because they have the mentality that they should be able to eat what they want when they want, they don't exercise because they don't like to... it's too hard... the list could go on. I've heard them all over the years instructing at a gym. None of the reasons surprise me. I know... I've been one of them myself... in the far past.  This is the time of year that there will be more people putting out money for a New Year's Resolution of 'getting in shape'. The Best intentions... but the truth is... without self discipline as a way of life... they will end up as it just being an intention... nothing more.
 There are 141 verses in the Bible about discipline... majority of which refer to punshiment for wrongs.

Proverbs
12:1 The one who loves discipline loves knowledge,  but the one who hates reproof is stupid

Hebrews 12:11
Now all discipline seems painful at the time, not joyful.  But later it produces the fruit of peace and righteousness  for those trained by it.

Discipline is a needed way of life... it's like a priority of living... it's like putting God first and others second...
discipline is what tells you to get out of bed early and workout because you know it's good for your body...
discipline is saying no to going places that you know God wouldn't want to be (and if He lives in you... and YOU go there... you just made God go there too)...
discipline is being responsible .... it's not all bad. 
Exercising may not be your favorite thing to do, but it's good for your body. And... after you work out... you feel so much better!
Eating healthy may not seem like fun, but... after you give up the junk food and starting feeling better than you ever have because there is truth to the saying "you are what you eat"... discipline pays off.


1 Corinthians 11:29
For the one who eats and drinks without careful regard 1 for the body eats and drinks judgment against himself.


Sometimes life gets away from us and it becomes really hard to be disciplined in all areas of your life. Discipline takes time. Organization. I don't know about you, but I NEED discipline in my life. I feel better, I function better and I'm so much more productive. I've been undisciplined these last years because life and responsibilities became more than one person could handle. I knew I had to put routines aside and basically "put out fires" everyday because I had too 'many irons in the fire'. I hated it! I hated the feeling of being undisciplined. It was the worst couple years of my life. I had been disciplined before, so going backward... was no fun and I deeply missed the discipline my life had.
I've been able to get discipline back in my life these last 6 months and it has been like fresh water to my soul!
It's so hard for someone whom has not been disciplined to understand just what feeling I'm talking about; but... trust me... it's a very good thing!

Do you think it's all about you?...

Some people view their life as it's all about them; what they want; how others aren't making them happy; how things didn't go as they wanted and are upset and put out because of such... and it never ceases to amaze me at just how truly selfish people are. Any of those attitudes is wrong... it's a sin. Selfishness, no matter how someone tries to justify it, is wrong...
The Bible says we are to treat others how we want to be treated. Period. God didn't put a a clause in there that says "well, if they do this to you ... or do that to you... or if this happens..." no... it's plain and simple... one of the Commandments... treat others how you want to be treated.
There are so many Christians that can't even do that one Commandment... which makes me wonder how they can call themselves Christians?... it's so basic.
Trying to be Christlike... is so much harder... but to treat others how you want to be treated?... It should be like breathng to those of us that call ourselves Christians... that is one of the biggest complaints I hear from my non-Christian friends, is that Christians don't act like they should... they discredit the name Christian... those type people make it so that non-Christians do not want to have anything to do with the Christian faith because they see themselves as 'better' people then most Christians. That is extremely sad to me. I'm sure that if people were polled and asked the numbers would be staggering of those that would say that they have allowed their opinions to be swayed about the Christian faith simply because of the behavior of people that proclaim to be Christian around them. 
Now imagine if we took those same staggering numbers of people that had a bad experience with a Christian and made it a GOOD experience, one of actual Christs love and grace and simply treating others how you want to be treated... can you imagine then how many people would be interested to learn more about God and his love for them? Think how many people would be changed... how many people would discover that they ARE loveable and they ARE worthy of God's love.? And then those people started treating others how they wanted to be treated and gave God's grace and love away to people around them... the domino effect could be staggering!
Just as the negative effect can start with just one person... so too can the positive effect... I don't know about you, but I want to be one of those positive effect people. I want to be the one person that people encounter and say "Wow! She's different! She's Christlike, she's positive and cheerful and she makes me feel good."
Because people won't remember what you said,... but they will remember how you made them feel.

I'll Trust the unseen

Trusting isn't always easy...

But it's only through trusting others, trusting God that you can experience a true intimate relationship. The deeper in intimacy you desire, the more you have to trust. Are you content in a surfacey relationship where you go through the motions of pretending you trust, but are honestly holding back your emotions, your deepest thoughts and fears? Or do you desire to know God in such a way that you seek His face and desire His heart so deeply that you jump headfirst into Him, trusting with ALL of your being knowing that He is your Father, your maker, your creator, the lover of your soul and that He alone has your back? He alone is the ONLY one that can claim to love you totally and completely unconditionally. No human can possibly compare to His love for you. When you totally trust in God, totally seek Him for your life and desire to live your life for Him, your life changes... your perspective changes because you focus your mind on God and not the little things in life that happen to try to get you down.
I've been on the surfacey side of trust... though I honestly didn't know I was there until God started to reveal to me, as an adult,  that I had put myself in a self imposed prision, jail of sorts as a child ... the subconscious mind is an amazing thing and self preservation is God given. Through a series of events and years I am free from that 'jail' and the difference in my relationship with God is incomparable. I now totally and completely trust in God with all my heart and with my life. I seek Him first. 

I love the song by Barlow Girl, Never Alone
Talking about having to trust in the unseen God... the chorus is below.

We cannot separate
You're part of me
And though You're invisible
I'll trust the unseen


That's what God asks of us... to trust in Him...

I'm Still Yours

How much Faith do you have? How much do you trust in God? Is it a casual relationship that you have, that you believe in God, but you don't put much thought into him? Or maybe you don't believe in Him at all? There comes a point in your life when you are going to have to decide what side of the fence you are on. That time comes in everybodies life at different times... some people early as a child and others not til they are grown adults. Eventually everyone will go through sometime in their life that will make them cry out to their maker... their God... or is He your God? Do you claim Him? Or are you like me that not only claims Him as my God, but puts ALL of my faith, trust and hope in Him alone! God has been with me from a very young age, I know... I felt his presence protect me and his still small voice talk to me. Him and I have been through a lot in my life and I've not always been as full of faith like I am today, I've questioned Him and His love for me just like most everybody else does at some point in their life. But... I DO fully trust Him now. With my life, with my children's lives. Like I said in my last post, you can take everything I have here on Earth... but I will still worship Him! I will serve Him and I will worship Him.... I find comfort in Him... in His arms, the arms of my heavenly Father, my Papa.



I'm Still Yours by Kutless


If You washed away my vanity
If You took away my words
If all my world was swept away
Would You be enough for me?
Would my beating heart still sing?
If I lost it all
Would my hands stay lifted
To the God who gives and takes away
If You take it all
This life You've given
Still my heart will sing to You
When my life is not what I expected
The plans I made have failed
When there's nothing left to steal me away
Will You be enough for me?
Will my broken heart still sing?
If I lost it all
Would my hands stay lifted
To the God who gives
And takes away
If You take it all
This life You've given
Still my heart Will sing to You
Even if You take it all away
You’ll never let me go
Take it all away
But I still know
That I'm Yours
I'm still Yours
Oh, I'm Yours
I'm still Yours
I'm still Yours

Can't Take Away

All around
All of us
Fear has come
and so we must Ask ourselves
In who we trust
What we have here
Is not enough
So let it ring
In freedom sing
You can take away Everything that I've been holding
You can take away the sun
You can take away the very air that I've been breathing
But you can't take away my God
Oh, my God, my God
Waves will come
And winds will blow
But it's not here
I've found my hope
My beating heart
My very soul
Is held by one who won't let go
And so I'll cling
To You my King
You can take away
Everything that I've been holding
You can take away the sun
You can take away the very air that I've been breathing
But you can't take away my God
Oh, my God, my God
A hope that can't be lost
A love that can't be bought
You can't take away my God
Nothing high or low
Nothing you can control
You can't take away my God
You can take away Everything that I've been holding
You can take away the Sun
You can take away the very air that I've been breathing
But you can't take away my God
No you can't
No you can't
Take away my God
No you can't
No you can't
No you can't
Take away my God, Oh My God, My God


Those are the lyrics to a song by Mikeschair "Can't Take Away"

September 27, 2008 my dad, Jack Ellis, passed away unexpectedly of a staph bacteria that crossed over to his blood stream making him septic... he died a week later after a good fight.

He had been in the hospital or a nursing home since February 29th, 2008... when I didn't give him the choice (he was a stubborn man and refused to go to the doctor) of going to the hospital because he couldn't walk across the floor. His spinal stenosis had progressed so far that he would fall. So, on March 7th he had back surgery to correct.... that was the beginning of him never walking again... never returning to his home again...

I lost my dad... we talked on the phone everyday and I saw him everyday... I went to the hospital or nursing home to visit him and check up on his care. We talked about anything and everything (except sex... lol:) I cherished the conversations. He was a funny man with his opinions. My last real conversation with him was the evening of September 18th. We talked about 45 minutes on the phone... I was exhausted and it was late and I hadn't made it up to see him that night, but told him I would be there early the next day to see him as I had the day off work... he ended up in the ER with dropping blood pressure and too out of it from that point on to really communicate.

The youngest of seven children... in a very dysfunctional family I had one brother, at the time, that was really talking to me (he no longer does) and was at my dad's bedside his last days with me.

During the year that I was so busy taking care of and visiting my Dad every night after working a nine/ten hour day and children and homework my relationship with my boyfriend was feeling the pressure... we broke up multiple times...

I've lost the bestfriend/boyfriend I cherished, l loved and adored... he was the love of my life! He was the love that love songs are written about, that novels are written and movies are made. That make believe I can't believe it's real kind of love.... never loved anybody as deeply before... We spoke everyday several times... we texted each other throughtout the days... we shared our lives, laughs and love...

Three years prior to this, I lost my nice house and financial security because I divorced my husband that didn't want to be with me. That same year, I lost both my dogs... one expectedly of a brain tumor and the other one seven months later of old age. It was a rough year...

I know loss...

BUT... during all these times of stress and loss... I still worship God. God still loves me. God has never left me. I will not lose God... because you can't take away my God. That song says it all about how I feel about my God and my relationship with him.

No matter what I lose in life, and I've lost a lot!... I will always have my God. My faith that He will never leave me is true. So, you can take away the air I breathe, but... you can't take away my God!

Proverbs 3:5

Proverbs 3:5:
5Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.

That verse is so much easier to say than do. We humans want to know and understand everything. We want to know "Why?"... we want to know "When?", "How?"... and God just wants us to rely TOTALLY on Him to know everything and for us to simply Trust Him.

I'm going through a a dark valley in my life right now... have been for a few years now. Everytime I see the light at the end of the tunnel, ... it gets dark again. I know it's the devil trying to get me down, trying to keep me discouraged and keep me from trusting my loving Father, my Papa. The devil doesn't seem to understand that I will NOT leave my loving Father. I learned that lesson many years ago. I have strayed now and then in the past and those were the worst times in my life. I will not stray again. So, dispite the unpleasantness of my current life conditions... I WILL Trust in my Father, my Papa who knows and loves me better than anyone what is best for me and know that He has a great plan for my life... I just have to trust in Him with ALL my heart! And NOT worry about all the unknowns... He has them all taken care of.

Honestly wish it were easier for my brain to not try to figure things out on its own. It's a control issue... wanting to know. But it's also a desire to be able to look ahead to the future and make plans and be excited. If you have no idea what your future holds and which direction you are going to go with your life and it's ALL totally up in the air... that is scary. It wouldn't be so scary for me if I didn't have children to raise and provide for. If it were just me, the unknown future would be a glorious adventure! I would be making all kinds of plans and moving out of state. But, maybe... just maybe, that's what God is trying to keep me from doing?... I don't know...

Waiting... and still waiting...

It amazes me sometimes how songs can be released to the public at specific times that seem to correspond to my personal life... spooky even... I can recall several songs over the years that have done just that. One of the most recent is "While I'm Waiting" by John Waller. The lyrics go like this:

I'm waiting I'm waiting on You, Lord And I am hopeful I'm waiting on You, Lord Though it is painful But patiently, I will wait I will move ahead, bold and confident Takeing every step in obedience. While I'm waiting I will serve You While I'm waiting I will worship While I'm waiting I will not faint I'll be running the race Even while I wait I'm waiting I'm waiting on You, Lord And I am peaceful I'm waiting on You, Lord Though it's not easy But faithfully, I will wait Yes, I will wait I will serve You while I'm waiting I will worship while I'm waiting I will serve You while I'm waiting I will worship while I'm waiting I will serve you while I'm waiting I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord.


I've been waiting on the Lord to show me where I am supposed to be going/doing with my life for over three years now. Though it's actually been over 13 years since I knew he had plans for my life other than what I was doing with it. Much has transpired since then, I'll tell you some of that at another time. Anyway, my life these last four years has been a continual "game" of dodging balls and putting out fires and trying to stay afloat in the game of life. Other people would have caved in three years ago... actually, honestly... most people wouldn't have even taken the plunge I did almost four years ago. That plunge was leaving my husband of 15 years for a life of happiness... whatever that was exactly I didn't know; I just knew that it was NOT with him. I had known I wouldn't stay married to him during our first year of marriage... I know you're thinking WHY stay married 14 more years then!? That's for a later date to discuss.
Anyway, leaving your husband after 15 years of being a stay at home mom (and aerobics instructor) and making yourself a single mom with 4 children is NOT for the faint hearted! It's NOT for the person that needs safety and security and permanence of stability. NOT for someone that desires material possessions and a big house. IT IS for someone that desires peace of heart and soul, happiness without bitterness. IT IS for someone that desires to place what IS BEST for her children above her comfort and 'easy' life and showing them that what they have seen as a married couple with their parents is NOT what a married couple should be like and that God meant and created married life to be totally different than what they witnessed. It's for the desire that my son learn to treat women with respect and not as he had been shown. It's for my daughters to seek out a man in their futures that will respect and honor and love them and desire to have friendships with them. It's to show my children that they CAN do ANYTHING they put their minds to and that ANY obstacle CAN be conqured with courage, determination and perseverance. It is to show them that material possessions are NOT important in life. That a house is just a house, that the people inside make it a home. My Dad taught me that I CAN do ANYTHING I put my mind to. That with hard work and a "little elbow grease" as he put it you can do it! So, I set off to be happy with God's blessing on my side for that was part of his plan. I can't do what he has planned for my life with the husband I left behind. So, single with four children I set out on an adventure of a lifetime!... And, here I still sit... waiting... now during the last three years my life has been MORE than busy and eventful so it's not like I'm just sitting around twittling my thumbs waiting with nothing to do! Working a fulltime job outside the home, being the only one to take care of the home, laundry, three children (sent one off to college), and my dad which ended up being a fulltime job as well (also another story). But, still... I wait.
Waiting, like I said when you have other things on your plate to keep you occupied isn't as hard as when you're ready for a change and you have time to think and start making your own plans...
and then you have to come back to the realization that God knows the plans for your life and you are just to patiently wait on Him to unfold the plans in His timing. Not knowing if the plans you are thinking of are Him helping to give you some direction or if they are plans you yourself are coming up with because you're getting restless waiting and are ready for a change.
So, here I am... waiting... sometimes patiently, somedays impatiently waiting... some days are painfully waiting... but I CAN honestly say that EVERYDAY has been full of worshipping Him and in that... I am at peace of soul while I wait...

The Water is Warm...

I instruct water aerobics on Saturday mornings... have for over 15 years now. One question people ask week after week is "How's the water? Is it warm?"... At the gym I have been at for over 8 years now they are very consistant at keeping the water a certain temperature and varies rarely... yet people still ask... "Is the water warm?"... As a Christian when I decided to fully take the plunge and begin my journey as a follower of Christ and give him my life as His to be used totally for His own purpose several years ago... I felt like I do every Saturday morning as I enter the swimming pool... "Is the water warm?"... Yes, it IS warm! Taking the plunge and living for Christ is a huge step of Faith,  Hope and Trust... but the water IS warm! And I am thankful to God for that!
I had been a raised in a Christian home, we went to several different type churches growing up... my mother wouldn't like what they would preach on and we'd be off to find a new church. Back then as I child I didn't understand how a minister or pastor could be 'wrong' about the Bible, but I do now... I was saved as a young child and baptised when I was 10 years old. Had to wait because the churches we had gone too didn't do baptism... I always knew who Jesus was and prayed to him every day. Even as a child I had a relationship with my Father God. He had his hand of protection over me and I had no idea just how much... until many years later.
Life has never been easy... living by Trust and Faith that God is who He says He is and learning to listen to Him and rely on Him fully with your life isn't easy some days... but... the water is always warm!