It amazes me sometimes how songs can be released to the public at specific times that seem to correspond to my personal life... spooky even... I can recall several songs over the years that have done just that. One of the most recent is "While I'm Waiting" by John Waller. The lyrics go like this:
I'm waiting I'm waiting on You, Lord And I am hopeful I'm waiting on You, Lord Though it is painful But patiently, I will wait I will move ahead, bold and confident Takeing every step in obedience. While I'm waiting I will serve You While I'm waiting I will worship While I'm waiting I will not faint I'll be running the race Even while I wait I'm waiting I'm waiting on You, Lord And I am peaceful I'm waiting on You, Lord Though it's not easy But faithfully, I will wait Yes, I will wait I will serve You while I'm waiting I will worship while I'm waiting I will serve You while I'm waiting I will worship while I'm waiting I will serve you while I'm waiting I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord.
I've been waiting on the Lord to show me where I am supposed to be going/doing with my life for over three years now. Though it's actually been over 13 years since I knew he had plans for my life other than what I was doing with it. Much has transpired since then, I'll tell you some of that at another time. Anyway, my life these last four years has been a continual "game" of dodging balls and putting out fires and trying to stay afloat in the game of life. Other people would have caved in three years ago... actually, honestly... most people wouldn't have even taken the plunge I did almost four years ago. That plunge was leaving my husband of 15 years for a life of happiness... whatever that was exactly I didn't know; I just knew that it was NOT with him. I had known I wouldn't stay married to him during our first year of marriage... I know you're thinking WHY stay married 14 more years then!? That's for a later date to discuss.
Anyway, leaving your husband after 15 years of being a stay at home mom (and aerobics instructor) and making yourself a single mom with 4 children is NOT for the faint hearted! It's NOT for the person that needs safety and security and permanence of stability. NOT for someone that desires material possessions and a big house. IT IS for someone that desires peace of heart and soul, happiness without bitterness. IT IS for someone that desires to place what IS BEST for her children above her comfort and 'easy' life and showing them that what they have seen as a married couple with their parents is NOT what a married couple should be like and that God meant and created married life to be totally different than what they witnessed. It's for the desire that my son learn to treat women with respect and not as he had been shown. It's for my daughters to seek out a man in their futures that will respect and honor and love them and desire to have friendships with them. It's to show my children that they CAN do ANYTHING they put their minds to and that ANY obstacle CAN be conqured with courage, determination and perseverance. It is to show them that material possessions are NOT important in life. That a house is just a house, that the people inside make it a home. My Dad taught me that I CAN do ANYTHING I put my mind to. That with hard work and a "little elbow grease" as he put it you can do it! So, I set off to be happy with God's blessing on my side for that was part of his plan. I can't do what he has planned for my life with the husband I left behind. So, single with four children I set out on an adventure of a lifetime!... And, here I still sit... waiting... now during the last three years my life has been MORE than busy and eventful so it's not like I'm just sitting around twittling my thumbs waiting with nothing to do! Working a fulltime job outside the home, being the only one to take care of the home, laundry, three children (sent one off to college), and my dad which ended up being a fulltime job as well (also another story). But, still... I wait.
Waiting, like I said when you have other things on your plate to keep you occupied isn't as hard as when you're ready for a change and you have time to think and start making your own plans...
and then you have to come back to the realization that God knows the plans for your life and you are just to patiently wait on Him to unfold the plans in His timing. Not knowing if the plans you are thinking of are Him helping to give you some direction or if they are plans you yourself are coming up with because you're getting restless waiting and are ready for a change.
So, here I am... waiting... sometimes patiently, somedays impatiently waiting... some days are painfully waiting... but I CAN honestly say that EVERYDAY has been full of worshipping Him and in that... I am at peace of soul while I wait...
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