Being Silent...

“It is great wisdom to know how to be silent and to look at neither the remarks, nor the deeds, nor the lives of others.”      St. John of the Cross

I was reading through quotes the other day, as I often do to help me focus on something for that day. I will find a quote and then a corresponding Bible verse and think about it. (helps me somedays with my brain that is frequently like a monkey on red bull:)  Anyway,  "It is great wisdom to know how to be silent and to look at neither the remarks, nor the deeds, nor the lives of others."  WOW!  That may not effect you as deeply as it does me... but I pray that if it doesn't... that someday it WILL!.

That can be taken several ways... how to be silent?  I hadn't thought about it til now that being wisdom... being silent and NOT judging others for anything they have done or said or how they have lived their lives...
that is NOT an easy task. Human nature wants to compare ourselves with others, wants to judge what others do and say with our own value system as to whether we agree with it or don't.
What comes to mind to me is my mother. You don't know my background, but someday I will share more of it, but my mother suffers from depression... deep dark depression and has my entire life. Didn't make for a great childhood to say the least. My mother attempted suicide when I was 15 yrs old. She had been making life at home unbearable and my Dad worked out of town during the week and we only got to see him on the weekends. Some weekends he didn't come home. I had a lot of hurt, anger and bitterness against my mother for ruining my life...  I was so miserable at home that when I had enough credits to graduate highschool... I got out early! I got out of highschool and then proceeded to get married. (you can look at that as a huge mistake for all the right reasons you're totally right! But I look at my 22 yr old daughter and think what a blessing she has been in my life and I can't imagine life without her in it... so I call it an experience, a life choice).  It took me several years to heal from the wounds of my childhood and to be able to "get over" the anger and hurt... God heals... as I have been healed,  my understanding of my mother has changed. I have watched as it has transformed over the years. I have close friends and even family members that wonder how I can call my mother every week now and not let the past effect me. How I can have compassion, grace and love for her. But it's not hard at all.  Ya, I could say it's a 10 commandment to Honor thy Father and thy Mother... but how cliche.  The truth is... I asked God to open the eyes of my heart to see others how He sees them. To allow me to have the compassion, grace and love that He has for His people.
My mother, like everyone, is a hurting individual. Everyone has been hurt by someone. How you choose to handle that hurt is totally up to you. Some people are stronger people than others. It's okay. God made us all different. It's okay. No one is better than the other. People just have different strengths in different areas. I can not judge you, nor you judge me. I can't judge my mother for my childhood, because she did the best she knew how to do. She had circumstances that I understand a whole lot better now as a grown up and as a mom. I haven't walked in her shoes. So... I stand in silence...and to look at neither the remarks, nor the deeds, nor the lives of others...  and I will love her and everyone else as God has called us to do... with compassion, grace and love...  loving people purely because they are God's people... no questions asked, no history of their behavior or life choices... just because... wow!  How freeing! 
The next time someone upsets you with what they say, or do... stop and think to yourself..."am I being silent?"...